Spectacular Beyond Imagination

r u e ?

Years ago, Karn Knutsen, a bright BBDO art director, came up with the perfect subhead for this place: “Are You (red e)?” And I finally have the opportunity to purloin it. Having been a struggling ad copywriter myself, I can just see my struggling Thai copywriter counterpart jumping up in the middle of the night and knocking over lamps in the dark to find a pen to write down “The Icon of Eternal Prosperity” and then hugging himself as he imagined the reaction at the agency the next day. There’d be wild applause from the client, thumbs up from his art director and daggers from rival writers who wish they’d thought of it.

But the teaser boards don’t actually say anything about shopping. Maybe it’s not a mall at all. Then, what is it? What is an icon of eternal prosperity beyond imagining? Let’s find out.

Before we go, quick, imagine the most spectacularly, eternally prosperous thing you can think of: 3,…2,…1,…POOOT! Time’s up. Now, we shall journey beyond your imagination.

Are you ready?

Here’s the address. Hm. Looks like a mall. (Just shows the kind of puny, mundane imagination I have.)

No bodies being carted away from imagination collapse…yet.

Well, this place IS a mall. But perhaps there’s something beyond it – in back of it, maybe. Something that shoots you out the roof to a place of eternal prosperity. Like Mars.

I suspended my imagination so I could see something beyond it better. Didn’t see anything spectacular – but I did see an information booth.

“Would you direct me to the thing that’s beyond my imagination? This kind of looks like a shopping mall”

“YES! MALL!” was the ecstatic answer I got from all three uniformed information attendants at once.

Deep down, I didn’t want it to be a just a mall. Then a mini-led light of hope occurred to me, “Maybe it isn’t just a mall.” Refreshed in spirit, off I went. And went. And went.

Supermalls have gotten so supersized that you are out of money before you’re barely halfway through. But I kept plowing ahead because the always-truthful outdoor boards promised that, no matter how spectacular my imagination was, Icon Siam would beat the pants off it. And, they sure tried.

One thing Bangkok is famous for is their water markets.

So they created a water market totally indoors. Not as spectacular as the real ones but lots more expensive.

And there was a centerpiece that was also pretty spectacular.

It would turn blue.

Then pink. (Let’s see you try that.)

There’s even a nice place for customers to rest from the spectacular time they’re having.

A last ditch desperate effort but pretty spectacular for what it is – whatever it is.

I don’t want to seem like a cynical jerk (I am, but I don’t want to seem like one). Except for the native stuff you can find in Bangkok’s real water markets, all the shops here were the same high-end names you’ll find at the megamall a couple miles from where you live. And if I ignore the build-up (tough for an ex-adguy) it may actually be the most spectacular one of the bunch. (A Disney theme park in the middle would clinch the title.)

The only thing I really liked was the unexpectantly humble mechanical doll that waves good-bye to you on your way out.